Interracial Dating: Is it about Love or Laziness?

Living in a world where people support two male lovers adopting a child, or two women walking down the aisle, it remains shocking to most individuals, black males and white women specifically, when they receive backlash for holding hands while walking down the street.

What remains as an over hyped trend, but to some a way of life, will black men ever stop getting the bleak stares and hateful comments when they’re out with a white woman…probably not. In that case, let’s break down the reasons as to why black women, some not all, have disdain for men who date out of their race.

After researching the topic, I have come to realize that a lot of black females are distasteful of men who date outside their race because they feel there is already a shortage on successful men, so why make it worse for them by decreasing their dating pool. So if white women only dated the gang members, ghetto baby daddies, and ex-convicts, then it would be okay? Of course there are women who like to try and give men makeovers, but ladies if it’s broke, don’t try to fix it. Speaking from another black woman’s perspective, I welcome any white woman to date a black man that’s been in jail, have multiple baby mamas, or doesn’t have a great education; because no matter what color he is, no respectable, independent female would even think about dating a man like that.

Let’s reverse things for a moment and discuss what’s really important; the reasons why these black men actually want to date white women. One man broke it down into three words: “Peace of Mind.” Exposing himself as an African American man who only dates white women, he said, “Black females have attitudes, it’s always ‘me, me, me!’ White females seem to do more for you and they don’t have so much attitude and drama.”

So, a white woman does more for a black man? I wanted to find out exactly what more they do. After asking a few good black men this question, they explained saying that white women will take them shopping, let them drive their car, cook for you, or at least try, want to please you all the time, and are more submissive. Not once did I hear a black man say what he does in order to receive all these great rewards. Does he take her out, rub her feet, let her drive his car, what? The point that I’m trying to make here, is that it seems some black men date white women because they know they can be lazy in the relationship. That’s right, they are lazy men who take advantage of weak white women because they know that no black woman who has respect for herself, or even an ounce of intelligence, are going to be as compliant as a white woman without her man putting in any effort. If any black woman is preparing meals, giving back rubs, or buying any man clothes, it’s because he’s doing the same for her; or she’s plain stupid.

Going back to the black man who dates white women for peace of mind, any black woman, like myself, who reads or hears a comment like that, is going to reply saying they don’t have an attitude and would like to remain drama free at all times. No one is going to start an argument for fun. Just as black men say, white women are more submissive, meaning even if she feels her man has done something wrong, chances are she won’t say anything and will let the problem pursue; compared to a black woman who will speak her mind openly. Besides, if a black man sees a black female and automatically assumes that she is defensive and argumentative, maybe he is still carrying baggage and opinions over from his last relationship.

It’s either something in the water, or in a black man’s brain cell that makes them think every black woman has an attitude, is dramatic, and only wants their money; because those are other reasons why they date white women.

A black man, said black females have an attitude or air about them which makes men reluctant to approach them. He continued on saying that when you date a black woman, you deal with any and every wrong they feel they’ve ever been dealt in life. They are combative, argumentative, and unforgiving.

A male friend of mine who wishes to remain unanimous, says that he and his guy friends date white women because they are easier to have sex with, give less attitude than black women, are submissive, exotic, and they have a lot in common with them. Men need to remember that how ever easy it is for that white woman to spread her legs for you, she’ll open them just as easy for another man.  It’s interesting that he said he has a lot in common with white women, because no matter how much a black man may have in common with a white woman, they will always connect with a black woman on more issues.

Vanessa, a 26-year-old black woman responds to these “in common” allegations by asking men if they’ve forgotten about the time in history when black men were belittled and disrespected by their slave masters. Have they forgotten about black history period, because no white woman will have that in common with you?

Ladies, if you haven’t been taken back by the reasons why our men decide to step out and date another race, you may be shocked or pissed off by these next excuses, I mean explanations. A participant of Blackmenvent radio says that most black women either cost too much to date, or have standards that are crazy. They want a 6’0” guy that makes over $100.000, while others want you to pay their mortgage. This is just absurd. In response to these idiotic and ignorant opinions that these black men are creating, Nicole, a 25-year-old black college graduate who now works for NBC, wants you black men to know that if she applied herself to receive a great education, created goals and obtained them, then why wouldn’t any woman want her man to provide the same qualities. Nobody wants to date a man that’s broke. If a white woman wants to date a black man who doesn’t have a job or isn’t goal oriented, then go right ahead, because that isn’t a boyfriend, it’s a child.

One man says that when you date a black woman you deal with all her baggage, but it seems to me that men are dating interracially because of encounters they’ve had with black women.

Other men chose to stir the pot and say black women have too many kids, wear too much weave in their hair, and are more concerned with getting their nails done than being physically fit. White women have so called “caught up” with the black woman because they’re getting thick not fat, don’t have kids and have their own luxurious, long hair. Last time I checked, those babies have fathers, and there is a great chance they’re being dead beat. No matter how much southern or fast food they eat, no female will ever have the same body structure as a black woman.

I’m not sure if I agree with this, but African American females also feel that men date white women for reassurance because the woman doesn’t respect the man. Other women get upset when they see black men with white women because they feel as if the black family structure won’t have a chance if both men and women don’t get their acts together and come as one.

Let’s rewind things for a second and spread some light on the black male who said he dates white women to have a peace of mind. Well his girlfriend, who happens to be white, said that black men are into her race or white women because black girls are always talking about, “he gotta have a car, money, and blah, blah, blah.”

I’m going to end this article with that comment, because if those women want to date a man who is lazy, and can’t bring any form of success or collateral to the table, then you can have them!