Are You Living ON Purpose?

Are you living on purpose? Are you doing things that truly make you happy? If you answered no to either of these questions, perhaps you should examine your reasons why. Doing what you want to do does not mean that you are self-absorbed, nor do you have to feel guilty about it.

Sometimes we play the martyr; aware that we neglect our needs, but then feel taken for granted when our contributions and commitments to others aren’t acknowledged. At other times, we may be oblivious to the time we put into taking care of others until we begin to feel stressed out and run down from the daily grind. And then there are times when we literally work ourselves sick. In any case, we must totally embrace how we feel because our emotions are valid and true for us.

As women, we have an innate ability to nurture, guide, protect, and put the needs of others before our own, which could be due to the way we were raised or our adopted beliefs about a woman’s role in society  However, times have changed and women have made advancements in government, medicine, education, business, etc., proving that we are major contenders in this male dominated world. Women rise and face whatever situations the world hands us. What is interesting about this, is that typically, we are coaching others or solving their problems. We are natural born leaders. We make bold, decisive choices that affect our lives and the lives of those we care about. We are educated, savvy consumers and our voices span across all mediums. 

Suppressing our desires and needs, and essentially our voices, are a thing of the past. There is personal power in stating that we are so tired that we will not do the laundry until tomorrow, or that we prefer to have someone else make brownies for this month’s PTA meeting, or that we just want to sit in silence for a while. Alone. In other words, it is unquestionably acceptable to put our needs at the top of the list occasionally. After all, if we are not in good health, how can we care for others?

Everything we do is a learned behavior, borne out of habit, and habits can be changed. Just like we learned how to ignore our voice, we can learn to listen to it, without condemnation or guilt or question, but with patience and care and anticipation of feeling good.

So right now, today, let’s promise to include ourselves on our To Do lists. We can go see a movie, treat ourselves to a new pair of shoes, have lunch at our favorite bistro or just curl up on the couch with our favorite book and read until our eyelids collapse. Whatever it is that tickles our fancy is ours for the taking. We don’t need to ask permission, nor do we need to run it by our girlfriends to get their buy-in, because in truth, they probably need R&R just like we do!

Also Check Out:
The Gift of Giving (and receiving)
Fathers and their Daughters: The Special Bond
What A Man Wants: An Open Letter to Women  
Finding Love After Divorce: Will I Ever Find Love Again
How To Cope With…Breaking Up 

Kevin Benoit

Kevin Benoit is the editor of Parlé Magazine. He founded the magazine while in college and continues to run it today. Follow him on IG: @parlewithme Read more articles by Kevin.

Kevin Benoit has 1777 posts and counting. See all posts by Kevin Benoit

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