HOW TO COPE WITH…MARRIAGE (REDUX)

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I want to start by saying that if you are a young attractive vibrant woman who happens to be a resident of another country, living in the United States, but wish to become a citizen of our great nation, I’ll gladly marry you for a green card, money or insurance. All I ask is that you be able to cook, clean and keep the sex coming on a regular…

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When I was doing article’s called “A.D’s Soapbox” I covered this topic already but I think giving this another look, with more insight should help expand on the opinion I was trying to make before.

I am still NOT married and I’m still very much ANTI-Marriage. I don’t believe anyone should get married, gay or straight. If you can find someone who wants to be with you “forever” then have at it. Who am I to stop you from love? I may like pizza but I couldn’t imagine having to eat it forever. If marriage is such a sacred institution, why does divorce exist?


Marriage is wrong, but that’s just the way I see it. which happens to be my own personal opinion. Of course, my grandparents were divorced before they met so that comes into play. My grandmother, said that I’ll change my mind one day when I meet the right person and I’m slightly optimistic on that. With all my misadventures when it comes to love, both the pursuit of it and trying to keep it with the women in my life thus far, if someone wants to get married to me, I’d prefer they’d seek counseling first to make sure they’re mentally fit.

I know there’s always more than one side of thinking, I’m only talking about marriage in Western culture. I know that in many different countries, it takes on a whole new meaning besides, I don’t wanna die alone and you’ll do just fine. This is dedicated to those people who ritualistically watch shows like The Bachelor, The Bachelorette and sat through three seasons of that god awful Flavor Flav reality show as he gave each one of those poor girls a new form of herpes.

My ideal relationship would be to have one first and then, we’ll just live together instead of marriage. There’s no need to get the church and courts involved in our love. Besides I hate marriages, it’s a long tedious ceremony that people throw to flaunt their supposed happiness in front of others. Have you ever gotten a Facebook notification or seen new uploaded pics that someone you went to high school with is getting married? As I write this now, I am in my early 20s and as are most of the people I graduated high school with, why are they in such a rush to get married? Whatever happened to fooling around and exploring a bit before deciding to settle down?

From what I learned about history, women were considered property at one point in time and in some places they probably still are. In order to “claim” your property so that another man wouldn’t steal it, men got married. I’ve most likely left out vital details but that’s the gist of it. I was invited to that dinner people have before the wedding, I don’t know what it’s called. I was coerced into going because I knew I’d feel like shit if I didn’t with people hounding me about it. I was asked to write something nice about the bride and groom because they knew I like to write and figured that I would write something nice and romantic for them both. I could’ve but I didn’t. I don’t remember exactly what I said but I can paraphrase: To the lovely bride and groom, Dear “John” I’m glad you’ve found the only woman in the world that’s willing to fuck you on a regular basis. I can see now why you decided to tie the knot. “Jane” you are not the most beautiful woman in the world. You are fairly attractive, that’s no doubt. But if you were the world’s most beautiful woman, I’m sure the papers would be here covering it. ‘World’s Most Beautiful Woman to Marry Mediocre Guy.’ You are at best above average. You fear your biological clock is counting down so you want someone to be with out of fear of dying alone. May your years together be full of blissful joy and ignorance of each other’s wrongdoings. Till death do you part…or this state declares you two legally divorced.

It doesn’t take a genius to know that I was asked to leave but not before I started a massive bar tab in their honor.

Also Check Out:
Suspended For Hugging: Justified Or Too Harsh?
The Importance of Realizing You’re Own Faults In A Relationship.
Home Again movie review
The School To Prison Pipeline for Young Blacks
Bad Relationship: Why Did You Stay So Long?

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