HOW TO COPE WITH…MARRIAGE (REDUX)

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Before I started expressing my anti marriage opinion I want to start by saying that if you are a young attractive vibrant woman who happens to be a resident of another country, living in the United States, but wish to become a citizen of our great nation, I’ll gladly marry you for a green card, money or insurance. All I ask is that you be able to cook, clean and keep the sex coming on a regular…

When I was doing article’s called “A.D’s Soapbox” I covered this topic already but I think giving this another look, with more insight should help expand on the opinion I was trying to make before.

I am still NOT married and I’m still very much ANTI-Marriage. I don’t believe anyone should get married, gay or straight. If you can find someone who wants to be with you “forever” then have at it. Who am I to stop you from love? I may like pizza but I couldn’t imagine having to eat it forever. If marriage is such a sacred institution, why does divorce exist?

Marriage is wrong, but that’s just the way I see it. which happens to be my own personal anti-marriage opinion. Of course, my grandparents were divorced before they met so that comes into play. My grandmother, said that I’ll change my mind one day when I meet the right person and I’m slightly optimistic on that. With all my misadventures when it comes to love, both the pursuit of it and trying to keep it with the women in my life thus far, if someone wants to get married to me, I’d prefer they’d seek counseling first to make sure they’re mentally fit.

I know there’s always more than one side of thinking, I’m only talking about marriage in Western culture. I know that in many different countries, it takes on a whole new meaning besides, I don’t wanna die alone and you’ll do just fine. This is dedicated to those people who ritualistically watch shows like The Bachelor, The Bachelorette and sat through three seasons of that god awful Flavor Flav reality show as he gave each one of those poor girls a new form of herpes.

My ideal relationship would be to have one first and then, we’ll just live together instead of marriage. There’s no need to get the church and courts involved in our love. Besides I hate marriages, I hold a strong anti-marriage sentiment, it’s a long tedious ceremony that people throw to flaunt their supposed happiness in front of others. Have you ever gotten a Facebook notification or seen new uploaded pics that someone you went to high school with is getting married? As I write this now, I am in my early 20s and as are most of the people I graduated high school with, why are they in such a rush to get married? Whatever happened to fooling around and exploring a bit before deciding to settle down?

From what I learned about history, women were considered property at one point in time and in some places they probably still are. In order to “claim” your property so that another man wouldn’t steal it, men got married. I’ve most likely left out vital details but that’s the gist of it. I was invited to that dinner people have before the wedding, I don’t know what it’s called. I was coerced into going because I knew I’d feel like shit if I didn’t with people hounding me about it. I was asked to write something nice about the bride and groom because they knew I like to write and figured that I would write something nice and romantic for them both. I could’ve but I didn’t. I don’t remember exactly what I said but I can paraphrase: To the lovely bride and groom, Dear “John” I’m glad you’ve found the only woman in the world that’s willing to fuck you on a regular basis. I can see now why you decided to tie the knot. “Jane” you are not the most beautiful woman in the world. You are fairly attractive, that’s no doubt. But if you were the world’s most beautiful woman, I’m sure the papers would be here covering it. ‘World’s Most Beautiful Woman to Marry Mediocre Guy.’ You are at best above average. You fear your biological clock is counting down so you want someone to be with out of fear of dying alone. May your years together be full of blissful joy and ignorance of each other’s wrongdoings. Till death do you part…or this state declares you two legally divorced.

It doesn’t take a genius to know that I was asked to leave but not before I started a massive bar tab in their honor


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Adrian "A.D." Dubard
Born in Washington DC, Adrian was placed in the care of his maternal grandparents after his mother died when he was a baby. For the most part of his life, Adrian’s biological father was absent from his life. Growing up with a house full of cousins, aunts and uncles, Adrian began his love of writing to document his surroundings. Attending a private school for 9 ½ years, it was there that many influential teachers help strengthen his love of writing via English and creative writing classes. Even though, Adrian loved to write he was reserved about what he wrote about. Leaving DC at the age of 7, Adrian and his family moved to Temple Hills, Maryland in Prince George’s not too far from where he had lived previously. Luckily, Adrian had taken part in many youth outreach programs as a youth that allowed him to travel and see the country, many kids he knew around his own age hadn’t even left the city. These experiences opened his eyes to other cultures and ways of living. As a teenager, Adrian had many friends who passed away before their time but he promised to keep writing to honor their memory. Other than writing, Adrian has helped various charities rise by going on public speaking tours. Some of these charities include The Safe Haven Project and The Journey of Hope. He has contributed to several book projects and currently resides in Queens, NY. Read more articles by Adrian.