Twice The Advice: Nice Guys DO Finish Last

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Dear Twins,

Well she did it. She broke up with me.  And things were going oh so great for these past 6 months… I thought. What happened?  I gave her the “attention women need” by calling her daily, texting, sending her flowers sometimes as much as once a week.. I took her out wherever she wanted, let her make plans (yes, even to museums and Broadway musicals). I told her constantly she was beautiful. And (hate to say this) was very attentive in bed.  I was a perfect gentlemen. I just don’t get women. Do good guys really finish last?

Signed,
The Right Guy

Jacqueline says Dear Wrong Guy,

Kerry, should I be the one to say it? Mister, you are plain old needy (oh and this makes me look bad too but) kind of annoying, as well.  Did you really send flowers once a week? I’m afraid to ask exactly how many times you did call her a day.  Do you really think that women will fall head over heels with a man that kisses their…. (ok I’ll be good). Where is the mystery? What things do you enjoy and does she know them? Do you allow her the joy of doing something for you? Women want to know that the man they are with is strong and has his own opinions and his own life despite them. The reverse is just as true. Yes, being attentive is good. But this is overkill. I just want to put a leash on you and walk you. (ok, ok, I’ll be good!)

Kerry says: Dear Guy,

At the risk of losing my female audience I’ll say it nonetheless: It is how you make women feel that keeps us interested. A gross oversimplification and generalization but, nonetheless, there is more than just a grain of truth in this. Women need to feel that you think we are beautiful and special. When we think you don’t appreciate us for these qualities we lose interest. We also like flowers. That being said, we are equally turned off when you emasculate yourself by kissing our butt. You need to find the right balance. I agree with Jackie; you are being needy, smothering and a total turnoff. All that gushing over your girl comes off as insecure and doesn’t seem genuine at all. Plus who doesn’t like dating someone that has something else going on? Let her admire you for being independent and doing your own thing, instead of waiting on her hand and foot. Now go ahead, I dare you…ask me what I think men like. The answer might surprise you!

Kevin Benoit

Kevin Benoit is the editor of Parlé Magazine. He founded the magazine while in college and continues to run it today. Follow him on IG: @parlewithme Read more articles by Kevin.

Kevin Benoit has 1810 posts and counting. See all posts by Kevin Benoit

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