We all dream about perfect relationship. When we think about dating we think about positive things. Especially nowadays, when online services give us a lot of possibilities like dating people from other countries – date men from Asia or Russian ladies.
Unfortunately, we rarely think about dangers that romance hides. Quite often you can get into an abusive relationship, which may start like a romance that you’ve been dreaming about all your life.
When it comes to an abusive relationship, physical violence is the first thing that comes to mind. But sometimes an overly controlling relationship is already abusive. Abusive relationship deeply impacts your mental health. And that’s why you need to learn how to end up a relationship with an abusive partner.
Getting Rid off The Doubts
The controlling relationship generally holds on criticism. Your partner is constantly criticizing you when you are alone. Of course, in public you are holding hands and you share popcorn when you are watching movies at the cinema. You seem like a perfect couple when you are at the parties. But the perfect image is completely destroyed when you get home, as all you here is how wrong was to say this or to do that. The constant criticism gives way to doubt yourself. You start wondering may be the problem really lies in you. Of course, you can try couples’ therapy, but if your partner is already that manipulative and you are that meek, most likely your therapy is going to end up in you trying to withstand the attacks of both the shrink and your partner. So, you need to get rid off the doubts. Stop questioning yourself whether you were to blame in different situation. Get your confidence back. You need your life back and you don’t want to be controlled anymore, tell it to your partner. Most likely he would tell you that you are breaking up and after the breakup he would try to get you back.
Get Emotional Support
You need emotional support when you are planning to leave an abusive partner. At first you may not have enough courage to breakup with and leave your partner. That’s why you need to talk to your friends and relatives. Explain them the situation in details, so they would be able to convince that you are making the right decision. You may need emotional support after a breakup as well. Quite often you may start thinking that you’ve done wrong abandoning your partner. Your friends need to be there to remind you how unhappy you had been in the abusive relationship to prevent you from trying to reconcile with your abusive ex.
Break Up Cold Turkey
One of the best variants is to breakup cold turkey. You feel bad in a relationship? Just collect your stuff and leave your partner. You will think everything over later. First you need to break free. So, as soon as you realize that you are in a controlling and abusive relationship, pick certain time, collect all your stuff and move out. Abrupt all the possibilities for your partner to contact you. Needless to say that you should not get in touch with him at all.
Don’t Dissolve In a Relationship
The best way to avoid an abusive relationship is to have enough confidence not to dissolve in a relationship and in your partner. That’s the root of abusive relationship. Dissolving in your partner is making yourself dependent. If you have yourself and your life most likely you won’t even run into an abusive partner. Moreover, abusive people try avoiding confident and independent people, as an abusive relationship just won’t work with them.
Be Realistic About Ending The Relationship
Another crucial thing about breaking up with an abusive partner is being realistic about that. You are in an abusive and violent relationship, and you can’t end it the same way as healthy relationship. You can’t stay friends after breaking up. You should stay away from your partner after the breakup. You can’t allow yourself considering the feelings of your partner. You are trying to save yourself, so forget about him. The best way is to end up your relationship via email, even if you think that it’s not a decent thing to do. Also warn your parents about the breakup, so they won’t help your partner to contact you after you are through.
Image by Carlos Arthur M.R
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