There are plenty of things to talk about when it comes to getting married. You need to decide on the honeymoon destination, where to hold the reception, whether to have a DJ or a live band, how many guests to invite and a whole host of other important issues. When you’ve just got engaged, thinking about your wedding day often takes center stage. There are, however, far more personal things to discuss before getting married and before planning the finer moments of your wedding day. Here are some suggestions.
Do You Want to Raise a Family?
How many children do you want to raise, or would you prefer not to have a family? What happens if you find you can’t have children? Talk with your partner about fertility options such as using donor eggs. Becoming knowledgeable about alternatives to natural pregnancy can give you peace of mind if having children is in your future plans. Discuss each other’s ideas on parenting, such as who will take care of the children, will you use day-care and what type of schooling would you prefer?
Where do You Want to Put Roots Down?
Where do you both want to put your roots down, or would you both prefer to stay on the move? Do you love where you live and is there anything that could persuade you to move? People tend not to stick in one place for too long, and families often find themselves spread around the world. Would you be happy if your family were thousands of miles away, or would it be better if they live just around the corner?
A couples finances can be the cause of a lot of stress and struggle, so it’s vital you iron out the creases before getting married. Talk about each other’s spending habits, whether there is any debt that needs to be paid off and discuss your ideas on saving. Is the plan to have separate bank accounts or are you going to combine your incomes and pay any bills together? What are you going to do if one of you stays at home to raise the family? How are you going to afford it? Ironing out the answers to these questions means less strain in the future.
The Importance of a Career
Are you both committed to your careers? Do you both work to live or live to work? Will one of you be happy to let your career take second place to family life? To reach the ultimate goal in your career are you going to need to have more schooling? Understanding how each other feels about working means fewer disagreements in the future.
Where do you picture yourselves being in ten, twenty, or thirty years from now? Where are you going to be living? Would you like to be retired? Does your idea of the future line up with your partners? It’s good if you’ve got common goals, but don’t feel obliged to commit to them. If you’re able to highlight a few common goals, it means there are going to be fewer conflicts in the future. Part of the conversation should include whether to purchase a term life insurance policy. It’s not something you want to think about, but the death of a partner can be devasting for the one left behind, and it’s important they’re protected.
These are just a few topics of conversation you need to have with your future spouse before getting married. Ironing out all the personal details of your future relationship is far more important than creating the perfect wedding.