Sometimes Kings Need Their Crowns Fixed Too
I’m always for empowerment in every single way. This particular article goes hand-in-hand with my last one, where I discussed the importance of all women rooting for each other. I talked about uplifting our fellow sisters and adjusting their crowns. In a world that literally shows us no love, it’s good to have a group of women to dry your tears and hold your hand every once in a while. On the flip side of that, it’s also great to have men who you can call your brothers as well. Black men need love, too.
For me, I was fortunate enough to be blessed with brothers, both biologically and through marriage, who I’d do anything for. I remember a particular conversation I had many years ago when I started dating my husband. He and his cousin were thick as thieves growing up so it was natural for them to be everywhere together. When he and I started dating, he told me flat-out that he didn’t like me, but I shrugged it off. That was until I saw the dynamic of their relationship.
They were more than first cousins; they were brothers. Where you saw one, you saw the other all the time. Over a period of the first year my husband and I were together, I built a relationship with his cousin. He went from not liking me at all to having my back no matter what. That’s what you call love. Having love for somebody and from somebody who didn’t even know you before says a lot. He went from being my husband’s cousin to my brother. I hold tightly to that title. I’d do anything for him. The same goes for any other man I’ve taken under my wing as my brother as well.
In this crazy society that we live in, our Black and Brown men need us. They need our strength. They need our encouragement. They need our empowerment. They need our love. They need our support. But, most importantly, they need to see our households thriving in a positive way. Baby mamas, let go of that hurt. Baby daddies, let go of that hurt. Think about the children y’all have created and the image you want to project to them. They’re always watching, looking, and listening.
The systematic breakdown of our families, in my opinion, came with low-income housing, the state benefit system, and people telling us that our men weren’t allowed in our homes. The child support system added to that breakdown of our men, further pushing them away from their women and children. I know it seems like I’m rambling, but I swear, I have a point to prove about our kings. The other side to that was what created the strong, independent woman who didn’t need a man for anything. That was all a systematic lie!
We need to uplift our Black and Brown kings. They need to know that they are loved and wanted. They need to know that our babies need them as much as we do. I know I need my king. I know that I love him, too. In a world that shows our sons no love… as is, it’s our responsibility to show them that even our little boys need to see positive images too. That’s why I want to shout out a few special men in my life.
Nelson, Francisco, Timothy, Torrance, Taurean, Demetrius, and Samuel. I’ll use just their first names for certain purposes, but just know, they are special. They are Black and Brown men proving to be excellent fathers, upstanding men, and all-around good guys in everything they do. They are raising families and households, showing their children that even in adversity, they are strong. They are the epitome of kings and what kings do to make sure their children have positive images and thriving environments in which their children can be successful and prosper.
When I say I love these men, I do. With all my heart. They are flourishing examples of what our men really are when the world counts us out. I salute them for doing their jobs day in and day out, no matter what they may have to deal with. They work jobs, sometimes ten to twelve hours a day, to take care of their children and families. I know, as a woman, I can appreciate something like that.
I say all that to say, sometimes, we need to stop with the fussing and start with the praising. Just like us ladies want to validated by certain things, so do men. There’s nothing wrong with us uplifting them, pushing them to their full potentials, loving them or even letting them know they’re doing an amazing job. And you know what else? There’s more of them out there than we know!
To some women reading this, you’re probably thinking, not my baby daddy. Well, look at it like this, YOU chose that man to lay with so he couldn’t be all that bad. Instead of bashing him, uplift him. Instead of making a post on social media about him, keep y’all’s business to yourself. In this day and age of social media, where we can make everybody’s faults known, sometimes less is better. After all, you chose that man just like he chose you.
I’m not saying you don’t have a right to feel how you feel because you do. What I am saying is that instead of bashing that man, brother, cousin, friend, try uplifting him instead. You know why? You can get more bees with honey than with flour. Or however, the saying goes. LOL!
I want to end this piece by saying, I love my Black and Brown kings, and sometimes, even they need help adjusting their crowns. It’s not specific to just the men we’ve had relationships with, marriages with, or kids with, but more so, the Black and Brown young men we’re raising and how they view us as women and how we view their fathers.
They all need love so let’s be the ones to give it to them when others don’t.
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