Love Finds You When You Stop Looking: How to Achieve It Without Emotionally Closing Yourself

Find Love - stop being emotionally unavailable
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Why is it that some people find their soulmate early in life, while others keep looking and have only unsuccessful relationships?

Is there a right partner for everyone, and if so, how do we find them?

Most often, love finds you. But the more you look, the more you’re decreasing your chances of meeting someone special.

Why that happens isn’t sure, but it’s one of those life truths that need to be accepted. The good news is that when you stop looking for love and focus on improving yourself and start being emotionally open, it finds you.

Here’s what you can do to make sure you meet the love of your life:

Stop being emotionally unavailable.

Maybe you never thought about it, but chances are you’re emotionally unavailable. That mean cutting people out of your life easily, having a hard time letting new ones in, and not expressing your feelings.

It might also mean blaming the other person when a relationship doesn’t work and never trying to analyze what you could have done wrong. Or maybe you get close to someone but immediately need some time off and find excuses not to spend time with them or to build trust, especially if someone has cheated on you in the past.

But this doesn’t work. It’s what will always prevent you from finding the right person, recognizing your soulmate, starting a relationship with them and making it last forever.

If you want to let love find you, you need to work on this. Stop closing yourself off, stop thinking every new person in your life is there to hurt you, stop being a perfectionist and expecting too much from others.

Take it easy, accept people for who they are and let your emotions out.

Once you learn how to control your emotional unavailability, you’ll see life suddenly gets better and you’re positive and having fun because you’re meeting new people and not hiding your feelings.

Figure some things out before finding a partner.

You can’t start the most important relationship of your life unless you get clear about what you want and don’t want in life, accept your weaknesses and work on them, are aware of your good qualities and love yourself.

All this is a self-improvement journey anyone needs to go through before they can open their hearts to others and learn how to communicate, be compassionate and appreciate anyone else.

It starts with you and you need to have an honest conversation with yourself.

Building a strong relationship with yourself takes time. It’s about leaving the past behind and noticing the opportunities in the future, about forgiving yourself and letting some things go, about not judging others and realizing everyone’s doing their best.

Figure out who you are before you try to define what true love means and where to find it.
Give yourself chances to grow, to change and to learn. That allows you to get out of your comfort zone, to go through challenges in life and overcome them, and to put yourself in a situation where you can find your soulmate.

When love’s offered to you, receive it.

Vulnerability is considered a weakness by those who don’t let their emotions out. But those who are happily married or in a relationship for a long time know it’s what makes things between partners stronger.

The first step is to believe you can love and be loved. If that doesn’t happen now, things won’t work even if your ideal partner is around you in the near future.

Everyone deserves to be loved and that’s one of our missions in life. If you want to live passionately and find meaning, you should love.

The next step is to accept the love you receive in return. Many people doubt themselves so much and think no one will love them, that they simply ignore the signs telling the opposite.

But that means emotionally closing yourself and missing out on some amazing opportunities that can change the rest of your life.

If someone makes you compliments, accept them. Know they mean it and listen to their words so you too can be aware of your good sides.

When someone is interested in dating you and seems like a good fit, give it a chance without expecting anything. See where it takes you, go with the flow and let your feelings come with you.

Whenever a relationship doesn’t work, don’t blame anyone. Accept this wasn’t the right person for you and that by leaving, they are making room for true love to come to you.

Stop being a perfectionist.

Some people never find the ideal partner because their expectations are unrealistic. They create a picture in their mind of how that person must look like and behave, and when they never see such a combination of qualities and traits, they are disappointed and give up.

Perfectionism can hurt you in so many ways. In a relationship, it often turns into an excuse not to meet a new person and give them a chance.

But without seeing what someone can offer, without spending time around them and not being quick to make conclusions, how can you even know if true love is around or not?

Once you let go of perfectionism, you’ll enter a whole new world. It’s where you’re in control of your emotions and can see the best in people, where you can make a good first impression and see how wonderful others are even if that doesn’t turn into a relationship that lasts forever.

When you stop looking for love, it will find you. When you let go of desires, expectations, regrets and worries, you end up living a simple and happy life, surrounded by positive people. And that’s when you can meet that special someone who will change everything for you.

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Sarah Williams
Sarah Williams is a dating specialist and editor of Wingman Magazine a daily source of self-development and relationship advice. She is always seeking to discover new ways for personal growth and expanding consciousness.