How to Jump Back from Jump Offs

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It’s been said that behind every powerful man is a strong woman. If that’s true, then behind the both of them lies a pack of video-ho wannabes chomping at the chance to get a taste of all that for themselves. Like starving termites, jump offs (as they’re so affectionately called) wield the potential to destroy any loving home. Shaq and Shaunie O’Neil, Halle Berry & Eric Benet, and most recently Tiger & Elin Woods are just some of the celebrity couples whose marriages have suffered after the husband strayed outside the relationship. So how can men (and ladies), celebrity or otherwise, resist the temptations of a wily jump off, and keep their relationships in tact? Here are three helpful hints to keep your house happy and jump off-free:

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1.) Not a man’s best friend – A jump off is not your friend. She’s not your homeboy. She’s barely even an acquaintance (in most instances). That’s the way you both want it; just hot, messy, freaky sex with no strings. So what’s the problem? NO STRINGS! Yeah, she may be willing to stay your sexy little secret for right now, but that’s only for as long as she wants. The moment your fling becomes more beneficial to her than the occasional get down, her only concern will be looking out for #1. When that happens, be prepared for all your business, including any and every sexual proclivity you’re into, to be fodder for every tabloid, morning news show, or even just the hottest gossip around the water cooler at your place of employment. Now do you really want Ted from Accounting knowing you like getting spanked? I didn’t think so.

2.) No comparison – Spending time with a jump off is fun, especially when it’s a secret. But the truth is, your girl on the side doesn’t hold a candle to what you’ve got at home. She can’t cook, and if she can, she’s not cooking for you. She doesn’t clean. She’s not going to watch your kids from a previous relationship as if they were her own. Don’t even think about her taking care of you when you’re sick, and you can damn sure forget about any late night booty calls if your bank account loses too many zeroes. Plus, if you’re willing to be open and honest with your partner, you’d be surprised at all the dirty, nasty things she might be willing to explore. The fact is, as much fun as the jump off may be, she’s nothing compared to your girl at the crib, so go home.

3.) You love your girl, and she loves you back – Free sex is good. New sex is even better. But is it worth the pain you could be causing your main squeeze? Sure, most people who cheat don’t plan on getting caught, but the truth is, it can happen to you. Just ask Tiger Woods or David Letterman. Neither thought that they would be the source of so much family anguish. Next time you’re thinking of getting it in with some random groupie, seductive co-worker, or tempting neighbor, imagine your partner’s face after the first tear falls. If that still doesn’t work, just imagine your girl screaming in your face Kelis-style as she goes full-on Jazmine Sullivan, all over your car…

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M. Skylar Ezell is a writer and communications pro whose gift for storytelling has served him well throughout his career. Skylar is a Southern gent and a proud graduate of Georgia State University (Go Panthers!). He is an avid reader, comic book enthusiast and political junkie whose work will one day make it to your bookshelf and TV screen. Follow @Skylar_Writer for all of his Twitter ramblings and hashtag philosophies. For more information and freelancing opportunities, visit www.SkylarEzell.com. He promises it is safe for work...mostly.