“On The Beat” With Ms. Boogie (column 23)

The only advice column that spins both sides of the truth.

Q: My boyfriend won’t marry me, because I’m not Jewish. We’ve been together for ten years and he still doesn’t feel any different about the situation. I love him too much to let him go, but I don’t want to be a Jew. How can I convince him that religion shouldn’t make or break our future?

Side A:  Unfortunately, you can’t; only your boyfriend has the power to change his own mind. All you can do is voice your opinion on the situation. And if he doesn’t agree with it, then you have the power to either leave or stay in that relationship.

Side B:  Regrettably, you made the common mistake of assuming that your love was enough to change your mate. Love is never enough, in that regard. The most important aspect of change is the willingness to apply it. Your boyfriend has made it clear that he isn’t interested in changing his perspective on marrying you, as a non-Jew. So, the ball is in your court. It’s time for you to convince yourself to make the decision to either let him go or become a Jew. Frankly, you should have made this decision, years ago! Doing so would have probably saved you alot of heartache and led you to an even better mate!


Q: I can’t get my son to leave the streets alone. He just won’t stop selling drugs and being a thug. I’ve tried everything to get him to do right, but nothing has worked.  I don’t know what else to do. Is there any hope for us?

Side A: Yes, there’s always hope. So, keep encouraging and believing in your son because the worst thing you can do for him is give up on him. 

Side B: It takes more than hope for someone to turn their life around. And you certainly can’t make someone turn their life around. As much as your support can help motivate your son, it can’t guarantee a change in your son’s life. He’s the only person who can change the course of his life. Now, as far as you’re concerned, don’t let your son’s life hinder your life. Be supportive, but not an enabler. Love him, but love yourself more. Make time to enjoy your life. You deserve to be happy!    


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