Best Approach To Dating After Being Single For Years?

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Twice The Advice logoDear Twins,

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I have been single for years.  Actually, 5 years now. I am 40 and I date here and there only sometimes. I am very attractive, in great shape and back in school. I don’t know why I’m not gobbled up to be honest with you. I’m just not into the guys that I’ve dated. I “break it off” when we are a date or two in. Should I just keep dating these guys even though I’m not interested?

Signed,
Sexy & Still Single

Dear Single,

I hate to be an old fart and say this, but if you really want to meet someone now and it’s that important to you, you have to make meeting someone a mission. It’s kind of like trying to sort of lose weight. You either go for it or not. Because if you sort of go for it, you can expect to be waiting another five years as your past record indicates. So try this out for size, for six months say “yes” to every social engagement. Join two on-line dating sites and give the guys you don’t think you like a second chance. In six months I bet you’ll have found yourself a boyfriend that you truly dig. Don’t forget to invite me to the wedding!

~Jacqueline

Dear Sexy,

I disagree with Jacqueline. By making it a “mission” you will take all the fun out of it and it will become yet another stressful chore. I also absolutely don’t think you should date men you are clearly not interested in. That will be even more unbearable and counterproductive. By now you should be able to trust yourself as to whether you are attracted to someone or not. That said, that doesn’t mean I don’t think you should give them a chance. The real problem is that you date men “here and there” and “only sometimes.” Finding a mate is a numbers game. Simply put, the more you do it, the better chance you have of finding someone. Go out there and date more!

~Kerry