The only advice column that spins both sides of the truth, today’s topic: Advice column 4, Dealing with relationship doubts and attraction preferences.
Q: I met this guy who I really like as a person, but don’t like, physically. I prefer men who are athletically-built. I really want to give him a shot, but I just can’t get past his body type. I’m scared that if I pass up on this amazing guy, then I won’t meet Mr. Right. Should I be his girlfriend or should I move on?
Side A: If physical attraction is important to you and you’re not attracted to him, then chances are a relationship with him won’t work. If you can’t get past his body type, then it’s best for you two to be friends. And in this case, you shouldn’t feel pressured to lower your standards. You did try to compromise, but you still weren’t completely interested in this guy. If it’s meant for you to be with him, then it’ll happen. In the meantime, focus on being his friend.
Side B: Move on! You’re forcing yourself to like a guy who isn’t fully appealing to you and that’s an absolute “hell no-no.” Sadly, you’re not the first person in the world to do something like this; often, people compromise their standards to make someone fit into their life and they end up miserable and bitter. “Mr. Right” is called that because he’s true to what you’re looking for and he doesn’t make you question your want to be with him. So, stick to your preferences, get over your fears, and be more patient!
Q: I’m friends with this guy who I kinda like. The thing is he’s still dealing with his ex-girlfriend. I can’t help, but get jealous, when the two of them are talking on the phone or chatting online and stuff. He says that he’s over her and I have seen them arguing, but I just don’t know if I should start something up with him. What should I do?
Side A: You shouldn’t start anything up with him, until you’re sure that he doesn’t want to date his ex, anymore. Now, if they’re still friends, then that’s one thing. It’s very possible for two people to have a platonic relationship, after dating. But if they’re still having sex with each other or doing anything else that you would consider inappropriate, if you were his girlfriend, then you need to keep your eyes open for someone else.
Side B: Unless he told you that he likes you, too, you need to get in your emotional car and drive in the other direction – quick, fast, and in a hurry. Now, if he admitted that he likes you, then you need to let him know that his ex needs to be more outdated in his life than jheri curls before you two can get together. And if he can’t make that happen, then get back in your car and leave him in the dust.
– About Ms. Boogie:
Born a pineapple, bred an apple, and now, a peach, Ms. Boogie currently resides in Atlanta, GA. Besides writing, she also has an interest in radio broadcasting. You can find her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/joncierrienecker and/or follow her on Twitter @jrienecker.
To submit a question to “On the Beat,” e-mail ms.boogierienecker@gmail.com.
Look out for the next “On the Beat” with Ms. Boogie, this has been Advice column 4, Dealing with relationship doubts and attraction preferences!
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