Chemistry is a very complex emotion. It can be deceptive, impulsive, and even unexpected. It’s a spontaneous spark that is ignited when people who are attracted to each other unite. I can’t help but wonder if that initial spark of chemistry is necessary for a long-lasting love to burn forever? Also, what does chemistry feel like? Is it like the adrenaline rush after a good run? Is it like riding the Cyclone at Coney Island? Chemistry is an emotion that differs from one person to the next based on the connection and the expectations held by each person.

Chemistry is one subject that I’ve always struggled with. I guess that’s why I’m single. Chemistry is often thought of as being a sexual connection, but chemistry can also be manifested intellectually, spiritually and emotionally. It’s hardly possible to claim that pheromones alone are responsible for chemistry. We seem to be confident when recounting a dating experience to friends, “Yes, girl, we had no chemistry” or “Yes, we had amazing chemistry.” However, chemistry can easily be described as a certain je ne sais quoi when meeting someone. Chemistry can bring the truth forth or it can be deceiving.

Everyone wants to find the peanut butter to their jelly, the milk to their cereal, the dressing to their salad, the other half to their whole, but how much of a factor is chemistry when it comes to true love? Some say that chemistry makes or breaks a potential relationship. I agree somewhat with this idea. I believe that chemistry is a significant factor in a potential relationship, but not establishing chemistry on the initial meeting isn’t necessarily a bad omen. Everyone has unique personalities. We are all individuals. In order to establish chemistry with someone initially, you have to be in your element, meaning you have to be relaxed, and feel free to be you and open to possibilities.

Many of us have embraced the possibility of meeting someone online, whether it’s through social media or a dating website. When meeting someone online chemistry can be felt, but I believe it can be more of an emotional, spiritual or intellectual chemistry as opposed to chemistry of a sexual nature. Chemistry of an emotional, spiritual or intellectual nature can outweigh sexual chemistry depending on the individuals’ needs or expectations. For example if your objective is to have fun for one night only, sexual chemistry may be a significant factor in that moment. If your objective is to find long-lasting love, you may look for various facets of chemistry. After all, when certain body parts go limp, what keeps couples together for forty, fifty, sixty years or more?

Some people can have great conversations over the Internet or phone, but when they meet in person their connection is flat. Would those people never see each other again due to the fact that there were no sparks felt? When couples say that the fire left their relationship, most of the times they’re referring to the many facets of chemistry, and not only sexual chemistry. Chemistry, like love, can’t always be rushed, but in order for love to last there must be an enduring chemistry.

Chemistry is more complex than we tend to think. It’s encompassing and wholesome. It manifests itself in more ways than one. Long-lasting chemistry goes hand-in-hand with compatibility and timing; it’s a balanced equation that leads to a long-lasting relationship. All of the components of chemistry in a relationship should get stronger with time as love endures. The sexual, emotional, intellectual and spiritual bond with a person is something that each person decides to build and allow to endure.

When I was younger, I was guilty of placing more weight on the physical aspect of chemistry rather than considering all aspects. If I was immediately attracted to someone I assured myself that my chances with that person were strong. As I grew older and wiser I began to take into consideration all manifestations of chemistry including the things that aren’t readily visible to the eye. When I did this, I found that relationships were more meaningful. Once I got past the fact that a person wasn’t perfect, I was able to fall for other things about them that didn’t instantly meet the eye. Sometimes we discover things about people as our relationship grows with them, and these things will spark an enduring chemistry that doesn’t vanish after a few rounds of good sex.

Chemistry is all-inclusive of the many aspects of the human-being. To achieve long-lasting chemistry, we have to be open to possibilities, have open minds and hearts, and be willing to take time to learn about others for who they truly are. So, the next time you see a 1 with a 10, a 2 with a 9, a gremlin with a supermodel, or a lady that resembles Gollum from Lord of the Rings with a Brad Pitt look-alike, consider it a miraculous and generous act of chemistry that was discovered in more than one manifestation.