2020 has been the year that keeps on taking and has spared no-one its wrath, including R&B Legend Bobby Brown. Just yesterday, his son, Bobby Brown Jr. was found dead in his Los Angeles home by L.A.P.D. He was 28.
Media outlets have been quick to bring up the string of deaths that seem to be following the elder Brown for the last few years: including the death of his iconic ex-wife Whitney Houston in 2012, his daughter with Houston, Bobbi Kristina, who was in a coma for six months prior to passing in 2015, and the recent death of Bobbi Kristina’s boyfriend (whom Brown wanted held responsible for the death of his daughter) back in January of 2020. And this most recent death is lending credence to the idea that the family is somehow “cursed”.
I want to debunk this theory but the recent string of events the elder Brown has encountered, isn’t the start of his apparent “bad luck”. A cursory google search yields a rap sheet of offenses several miles long: from his DUI to domestic abuse charges, to possession charges and much more.
And to be 100% honest with you, I’m sure somewhere down the line Bobby Brown reminds you of one of your family members. That one cousin that could never seem to get right, that one aunt with the “dark cloud” over her children, or that brother who’s spent more time inside than out or…the list continues.
This is not to say all Black people have some drug-addled, problem-filled family member who is not worthy of mercy and affection. Nor to say that one’s past sins should immediately qualify you as a disgrace. But rather that living in America, even when you are surrounded by the illusion of money, is difficult for Black people in general.
Why?
Because trauma is real and therapy is for white people (or taken as a sign that you’re crazy or weak) according to the Black community.
Anyone with any mental health experience can see what Brown (and that can’t get right relative of yours) needed at the time of his offenses was therapy and coping mechanisms. He was diagnosed with ADD as a kid, and if you have a child with a learning disability, you already know what that must have been like for him. And this was back in the 80’s when the war on Black people aka the War on Drugs, was in full swing. So he probably received zero compassion and less than adequate treatment (if any)– not that things haven’t gotten that much better today.
But even for the few who become aware of needing professional help for the “curses” that ail them, what kind are they going to get when they seek it?
The medical industry has always been a source of discomfort for Black people: from the history of gross negligence to the outright unethical experimentation on Black bodies in the name of science. And when it comes to mental health, it’s hard as hell to find a mental health professional that can truly teach you how to cope with what it’s like to be Black in America. To be seen as less than. To know that neither fame nor fortune guarantees you freedom from life threatening interactions with the police or in the elder Brown’s case, being ripped off by executives for “$500 and a VCR”.
I have a M.S. in Psychology and honestly from the course work I did, I stopped at the Master’s level. Not because I lack the dedication and determination to climb higher into the realm of Doctorate level studies; but because the information and studies upon which many of these texts are based are so damned biased and “geared toward white folks”, that it would be difficult for me to form a solid and accurate picture of the PTSD (both direct, generational and inflicted by the media) Black folks carry on their shoulders every day. And even harder to form a solid treatment plan that honestly doesn’t include a shit ton of medication or psychedelics off the drug schedule. Especially in a day and age where somehow, some way, poor white folks and police officers are finding ways to express their rage and frustration with a broken society by taking it out on Black and Brown bodies– with the approval of their government.
Bobby Brown Jr. and Bobbi Kristina grew up in tumultuous home environments with parents (I can’t speak for Jr.’s mother Kim Ward because I don’t know enough about her) who were hadn’t processed emotional and mental trauma of their own. And I’m not entirely sure Bobby and Whitney could or would. I know Whitney came from a Christian background and there’s a tendency there to believe you can “pray the pain away”. As for Bobby, homie grew up one of 8 kids to lower middle class parents in the projects in Boston in the 80’s, and I don’t want to assume but…we saw his behavior (and Whitney’s) on the reality TV show. We poked fun at the “I love you Bobby” bit from Whitney. We joked and made memes about it. But the truth is in times of crisis, they turned to what comforted them quickly and their children saw that. Bobbi Kristina saw it and it led to her untimely demise. And I don’t want to assume as we’re still waiting to hear back on what the cause of death was for Jr., but so far foul play has been ruled out and it’s looking like it might be drug related. (I honestly pray I’m wrong about this). If there was a curse on this family, unprocessed trauma would be it.
My heart truly goes out to Bobby Brown and Kim Ward. Especially for Bobby, the loss of one child is great, but two, mixed with all the other trauma that has been sitting unprocessed or minimally processed under the surface…I know I would’ve checked out personally. The only thing I can say is I hope homie has (or can find) a really good, no-nonsense counselor who can guide him through a solid wpath healing or a damn good non-scamming-no-nonsense shaman who can guide him through a psychedelic ceremony or two to help him process all the shit coming his way. It’s even better if he does both.
Because let the media tell it, the world damn sure ain’t interested in doing it for this “cursed” Black man, or his children.
R.I.P Bobby Brown Jr.
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