Some Ladies Need To Say No to the “Skinnys”

So my initial idea was to do research on the hot new item for fall: “skinny” jeans or “jeggings” as they are sometimes referred to; then I started to see them up close and personal on everyone. I’m not kidding! No matter their shape or size, skinny jeans look horrid. As I was perusing through the jean’s section, ever hopeful that I would find my size and a nice comfy boot cut fit, I was inundated with SKINNY jeans…in every size. Literally, there was a brand that carried a size 17 in skintight super skinny jeans and it is sad because regardless of your size, you want to be a part of the trend. Unfortunately, just because it fits doesn’t mean that it looks good.

I am a relatively petite woman,but I have no shame in saying that I have a plump butt and “birthing hips” if you will. The thought of even trying skinny jeans on makes me ill. It is absolutely disgusting because I know, without a shadow of a doubt that skinny jeans are specifically meant for one body type: skinny and super straight. Skinny jeans used to refer to the jeans that all women kept hidden in their closets with the hopes that one day they would le to fit into them once again. Now it refers to a pair of jeans that every woman can fit into, but I’d say, above a size 5, does not make a positive statement. I desperately wanted to try on every pair of skinny jeans in every store to find one that truly complimented my figure, but even the stick thin mannequins in the windows looked like they were in pain and it was not a game I wanted to play. I didn’t even want to subject myself to that humiliation in the privacy of the fitting room.

As I strolled the mall, which is something I absolutely love to do (I am THAT girl), I started to observe my fellow females as they walked passed me. I did not have to try on anything; they were doing all the research for me and they didn’t even know it. Thanks to stores like Lane Bryant and even the Gap, women of all shapes and sizes can find at least one pair of jeans that suit their body type and I say it is about time. But then again, who wants to look good when there is a trend band wagon to hop on and that band wagon is wide on the top and teeny, teeny, tiny on the bottom. I can’t even equate it so that the visual truly does this look justice. My mom often refers to it as a sausage look because your body is so tightly squeezed inside these pants, oh my gosh, it is like you should be on life support. Oooh, maybe a Jumbo Blow Pop or a Phillips flat head screwdriver, or a double scooped ice cream cone with those super pointy ends.

I’m pretty sure that you are reading what I am writing down because let’s be truthful: we all judge and have said “what the hell was she thinking when she left the house? Did she actually think she looked good?” The answer is, probably. That’s what is making this trend even worse than any trend before. All women have worn jeans that are too tight for them creating the ever popular “muffin top” but that has now been replaced with the “ice cream cone”. Ladies: no matter your size or body type, you should love and embrace who you are…and find the right style for your figure. I know that it can be a painful task, but you will look so much better and probably be able to breathe; imagine that.

Skinny jeans are not for anyone, this is my declaration and for society to label jeans such a word is pathetic. If I have to be the harsh best friend, that is okay with me. I wouldn’t wear them and unless you can truly look in the mirror and say “Damn, I look fine,” keep the skinny jeans at home for a rainy day. The mission is to flatter, not embarrass.

Written by Amanda Nowitz

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Team Parle

The collective team of Parlé Magazine. Twitter: @parlemag

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