Flint, Michigan bred author and creator, Kelli Koins has been blessed with a wealth of experiences that made it easy to create her debut book. It helped that the topic was forever timely, as she believes that 90% of men cheat. The Atlanta based writer released “How To Be A Better Jump-Off: What Every Side-Piece Must Know“ in February, right around Valentine’s Day, a perfect time to provide side-chicks with free game.
The book uses personal stories and anecdotes to explain what many men already know and what Kelli believes side-chicks need to know. The book isn’t promoting or even suggesting that women go out and be side-chicks or jump-off’s. Instead, it’s accepting the fact that a majority of the 90 or so percent of men that are cheating, are doing it with women who are okay with playing this role. And if you are going to play the role, then you need to understand the rules that you need to follow.
We caught up with Kelli Koins to talk about the book, the side-chick rules and much more.
Parlé Mag: Let’s start with your story. You’re from Michigan, tell me about yourself and your upbringing?
Kelli Koins: I am from Michigan. I was raised rather uniquely. I am the youngest of five siblings and my parents called me their little “unplanned blessing.” They ended up divorcing when I was young and I was raised by a single father. My mom eventually remarried and moved out of the state. In life, my dad was my biggest influence. He taught me the rules of the game and he was extremely supportive of whatever it was that I wanted to do with my life.
Parlé Mag: Not much can be found of your personal story, what were you doing before you decided to pen this book?
After I left Michigan, I moved to Atlanta and began working with a PR firm where I was introduced to a bunch of Atlanta’s creatives. I always knew that I wanted to write, but never had enough inspiration to commit to it fully, until recently. The connection between me helping other artists obtain their artistic goals was the catalyst for me to go after my own personal goals and dreams. It was here in Atlanta where I found the inspiration to begin my writing career.
Parlé Mag: Who are some others you have looked up to or enjoy reading?
Kelli Koins: I love reading books. I will read almost anything. I didn’t realize I was such a huge Stephen King fan until I counted all of the books that I had bought and read by him. It was a total shock, because I never saw myself as a huge fan of any one author. I am getting into more Black authors now though. I just read “The Fire Next Time” by James Baldwin and I am working on “Bluest Eye” by Toni Morrison. My next few reads will all by Black authors.
Parlé Mag: The concept of this book, “How To Be A Better Jump-Off” is a bit triggering for some, how did you know you needed to write this book?
Kelli Koins: Well, I knew something needed to be done when I read an article that a young lady wrote to Dwayne Wade’s wife, Gabrielle Union, exposing their relationship. After that, I knew something needed to be said or done about this type of behavior. When I began to do some research, I found that very little had been addressed about the issue. I decided to shed more light on it.
Parlé Mag: Have to ask, how personal is this story for you? Have you knowingly been cheated on? Been a side-chick?
Kelli Koins: I have been on both sides. I have been cheated on and had a side-piece stalk me, and I have also been the side-piece a time or two in my lifetime. However, this is not a personal story for me. I always understood the rules of the game. Remember, I grew up with a single father, who had a steady stream of women and he was always honest with me about what was going on, so I knew what to do and what not to do.
The book tells a few different stories about my personal experiences. You can check out several of my personal experiences in the book. I was very honest about my story.
Parlé Mag: Who would you say the main audience for this book is?
Kelli Koins: This book was specifically written for the women who are involved or get involved with committed men. It was designed to set a specific standard of behavior for adults involved in these types of relationships.
Parlé Mag: You say 90% of men cheat, what do you think is the answer to this? Or maybe the question should be, what should women know about how they approach relationships and their understanding of how it can work?
Kelli Koins: If I could answer either one of those questions, I would probably be the most successful woman on the planet. The simplest answer to why men cheat is because they can. It is very easy for them to do it and most of the time they do not get caught, which fuels the desire even more. Each situation is going to be different for each woman. I don’t think that being in a monogamous relationship is an unreasonable expectation, and neither is the fact that a man might cheat during that relationship, so how we approach it will be unique to each individual person.
Parlé Mag: Thoughts on open relationships, or polygamous relationships?
Kelli Koins: I don’t really have a position on this. It depends on each person’s view on how they see themselves in a committed relationship. I neither condone nor condemn these types of specialty relationships.
Parlé Mag: What’s the main thing you want people to take away from the book?
Kelli Koins: I want people to know and fully understand the rules of the game, so that no one else will ever get hurt again, mentally, emotionally or physically.
Parlé Mag: What was your favorite part about writing this book?
Kelli Koins: My favorite part of the book are the true personal tales within it. Some of it is really crazy.
Parlé Mag: Do you have plans for another book in the works?
Kelli Koins: I am currently working on a book specifically for men called “Rules For Keeping A Side-Piece.” I am looking forward to getting that one done and seeing what the response will be to that as well.
Parlé Mag: What’s next for Kelli Koins?
Kelli Koins: I am looking at doing something in television and film soon. I will definitely keep you updated.
You can purchase the book on Amazon and Kindle.
Connect with Kelli Koins online
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