The Mockery of Marriage | Is the Tradition Outdated??

December 27, 2011

824

The Covenant of Marriage Is Outdated – Is It Time To Reconsider The Age Old Tradition?

Researchers, policy makers, and the general public are interested in the demographical characteristics of events such as marriage and divorce. Part of this stems from the fact that men and women in the southern United States have the highest divorce rates in the country (U.S. Bureau of Census 2009). As these numbers continue to increase, legal and social policies with respect to the institution of marriage and the institution of divorce have caused a sense of uncertainty with researchers, policy makers, judges and the general public.

On one hand, Americans continue to marry in large numbers. It is estimated that 85% of adults will marry at some point in their lives (Bachrach, Hindin, and Thomas, 2002; Popenoe and Whitehead, 2004). On the other hand, it is estimated that fifty percent of marriages will end in divorce and 20% are terminated within the first five years (Bramlett and Mosher, 2002). With the current policies and simplistic laws that enable couples to marry, it is no surprise that professionals, religious, judicial, and governmental agencies are looking for ways to strengthen marital relationships and promote the institution of marriage (Gallagher, 2000).

Of the 50 states, 49 require that the couple be 18 years of age, that they have two forms of identification and that they pay a nominal fee for the marriage license. In contrast, to obtain a driver’s license much of the same is required. However, in many states, candidates must study and pass a written test. In addition, all candidates must take a physical test. It is here that one must pose the following questions: Why have we made it hard to obtain a driver’s license and so easy to obtain a marriage license? Should states require its citizens to take mandatory premarital education classes? Does it make sense that someone as young as 18 years of age can get married without any knowledge of what it takes to make a marriage work?

For centuries, the United States Government has placed complete trust by giving each citizen, with aspirations to marry, the freedom to employ love, emotions, money, religion, values, as prerequisites to marriage. Moreover, the government has given each state jurisdiction over the laws and premarital procedures. In return, its citizens continue to deliver dismal results. According to the 2009 U.S. Census the frequency for divorce in the United States remains higher than the divorce rates in most European countries.

The United States is a country that solves problems by enforcing tough behavioral changing policies. Problems that have the potential of causing physical and psychological damage are remedied. In short, it there’s a wrong, the Federal Government and/or the States will attempt to make it right.

With respect to the marriage and the divorce laws and the state’s judicial power over these laws, it is obvious to me that a governmental intervention is needed. I propose that on the federal level, an amendment be made to the United States Constitution that would require every individual (that aspires to marry) to take 40 hours of mandatory premarital education classes. The classes will focus on issues of compatibility, expectations, personalities and family conflicts, communication, conflict resolution, intimacy and sexuality, and long-term financial goal setting.

Here is where I am suppose to bore you with statistical data that states that premarital education “is associated with higher levels of marital satisfaction, lower levels of destructive conflicts and higher levels of interpersonal commitment to spouses, (Journal of Family Psychology) and how based on a random phone survey of 3,344 adults in four states, couples who received 20 hours of premarital education had a 31% lower chance of divorce. Instead of following the golden rule of chasing the data, I would rather appeal to what simply makes sense. The current state policies have allowed its citizens to make a mockery of marriage. From $89.00 speedy drive thru weddings in Las Vegas (i.e. Tunnel of Love) to Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries 72 day hoax, we the citizens of the United States have turned the marriage covenant into a bad reality show. My proposed mandatory 40 hours of premarital education will not stop the Dennis Rodman’s and the Kim Kardashians’ of the world, but for the people that marry for love, for commitment, for family, for real, 40 hours of premarital education will provide them with the relationship tools that they need to sustain a healthy marriage.

David Asbery has a new book out entitled: My Wife, My Kids, My God! For more information visit him at www.davidleeshow.net.