Urban Therapy: Taking Life’s Questions and Giving Real Answers from the Heart, today’s topic: Balancing personal style and partner’s concern in summer wardrobe
Question: Now that it’s summertime, it’s naturally a time to wear cooler, comfortable and frankly lighter and smaller clothing. I don’t think I’ve pushed the envelope too far with my summer wardrobe but my partner has recently began to take exception with some of my wardrobe choices. What has changed?
Answer: He has. And so have you, although it might not seem like it. I’m not sure how long you’ve been together but I can say that over time, your vision of your relationship and your partner changes to reflect your potential future. While you don’t have to suppress your expression through your fashion choices, there are some things a single woman might wear that an attached or married woman might not. How we see ourselves isn’t always the way that others see us.
The challenge is that many women want to dress attractively for their partner. Problems often arise because unless you’re in the confines of your home, others will see it too. You’ll need to strike a balance but you have to first understand where his concerns are coming from and work through the perceptions or the miscommunications. He might feel that something you’re wearing is giving the wrong impression to others, since he knows you very intimately. Approach the clarification with the assumption that he is coming from a place of protection and care for you, not as a point of criticism.
There is a way to play to your sex appeal without looking like you’re selling it. If you’re unsure of how to accomplish it, meet with a stylist. Most high end department stores have complimentary stylists on staff. Don’t take the feedback as an attack without understanding the source of the concern, and think about his perspective – most men want a lady in the street, and you know the rest. You have to balance your personal style in your summer wardrobe with your partners concern.
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