After we leave home, life changes. We now have a job, and our own apartment, and with that comes the growing up and the adult world of relying on ourselves to pay the rent, take out the trash, cook and clean the kitchen, do the laundry and clean the bathroom. If we’re lucky enough to have our own home while single then we also have to mow the lawn and do all that comes with owning a home.
So why is it that when two people get married, they have to divvy out the chores? Why when both know when trash day is or when we’re out of clean clothes does anyone need reminding? Or if its been weeks since the lawn was mowed, why do we find that someone has to be reminded? Who’s responsible for who’s keys? In your relationship you don’t want to be parental, or authoritative do you really need to be? With the woman that you love? I don’t want to be your mother, I don’t need you to be my father. Tell me is that love? Why would any of us want THAT?
Perhaps we really haven’t grown up yet or maybe we don’t see our partner as an equal. We target our partner unconsciously to fill that place where we haven’t worked out our issues and have placed our partner in that role. We don’t realize that’s what we’re doing, yet that is what we’ve done. It sets an imbalance and creates distance instead of the intimacy we are seeking.
There is power in being an adult, not a position of power – a yeilding. Being reliant is an intoxicating aphrodisiac; when we no longer are placed in the position of mommy or daddy in our loving relationship as a couple we can truly become free and intimacy grows as we become closer as a couple without the barriers we place between each other that keeps us from being truly vulnerable and real with each other…
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