Nikki Ransom-Alfred is so much more than an Author & Sex Educator. In 2015 she is completely trying to remove the notion that it it taboo to speak about sex. Over the last few years her work as a relationship coach and a sex expert has helped her open the door for many men and women to have satisfying love lives as well as full and healthy relationships in and out the bedroom. Her latest book, 30 Sex Positions and Tips For Getting Wild, Rough, and Kinky is another opportunity for her to share what she has learned through research and the experiences in her wonderful marriage. We caught up with Nikki for more details on the new book as well as some advice on relationships and sex. Check out the full interview here…
Parlé Magazine: First and foremost, thanks for giving us an opportunity to connect for this interview. Tell the readers about about yourself.
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: I am a married mother of five children, a Sex Educator, entrepreneur, author, and I’m also currently studying to receive my Masters in Psychology. My family and I reside in Columbus, Ohio and will be relocating to Las Vegas, Nevada very soon. My passion in life is to help others understand the beauty and importance of a healthy sex life and how to have really, really great sex.
Parlé: How does one go about being a certified sex expert?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: There are different programs online and in certain cities where one can study to be a Sex Expert or Sex Coach.
Parlé: When did you decide that was the career path for you? How?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: In 2009, I was a Certified Life Coach, Relationship Coach, and Sex Coach but in 2010, I dropped everything else to focus solely on providing sexual education and decided to further my education in human sexuality. I fell in love with teaching others about sex and helping people enhance their sex lives and relationships. Amazing sexual experiences are life changing, besides being extremely beneficial for your body and mind, and I love being able to help facilitate that. I feel that there is an enormous lack of real sexual education out there, especially for the Black community. We are very over-sexualized; many women can’t name the parts of their vulva but are quick to give it away. Then we have the group of people that were taught that sex and sexual desires are a sin, you aren’t supposed to talk about it, you aren’t supposed to be wild and adventurous, and that sex is not an extremely important aspect to a healthy and happy relationship. I have a great passion for getting the truth about sex out there, that is a gift to be enjoyed, explored, and celebrated.
Parlé: How long have you been doing this type of work professionally? When did you figure out that you had a true talent to be good at it?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: I’ve been doing this type of work for over five years now and truly feel that this is what I was put on Earth to do. I feel this comes through to my audience when they hear me speak. When I would begin to hear people tell me that my candid and comfortable way of speaking about sex has helped them to be more at ease with sex, that I helped their relationship, or that my advice has helped them to achieve orgasm, multiple orgasms, or female ejaculation, this let me know that I was great at what I do and my mission was being accomplished.
Parlé: You’ve already released two ebooks, tell the readers about those and what gems they might find if they purchase those.
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: In 69 Ways to Keep Your Man & Keep Him Happy, I have 69 tips on keeping your relationship happy both inside and outside of the bedroom. It’s a mix of hot sex tips and relationship tips that while they are considered “old school,” they really work. My latest book 30 Sex Positions for Getting Wild, Rough, & Kinky has 30 sex positions and 30 sex tips to help a couple experience new, exciting, and kinky sex positions and acts. It’s a tool to help keep things spicy and fresh.
Parlé: Your latest book is 30 Sex Positions and Tips For Getting Wild, Rough, and Kinky, what inspired this one?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: My own sex life inspired the book and I know how positively it affects my marriage and my life in general. It brings me joy, peace, euphoria at times and I want everyone to experience that. People also ask me a lot about how to spice things up in the bedroom or say that things are becoming routine; this book will help with that and also open up the sexual dialogue between a couple.
Parlé: How did you determine which positions and tips to include, considering that there is so much out there to be discovered?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: With this book, I started with some of my favorite tips and positions and wanted a mix of what I consider to be mild and a little wild. I plan to write another book with even more sex tips and positions as well; there is so much I want to share.
Parlé: You mention that you want people to not have “boring vanilla sex,” what would you say is the first step for getting away from that?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: The first step is to have a conversation with your partner about your sex life, talk about new ideas, new sex acts, desires and curiosities that you may have. Then begin exploring them with each other. Visit an adult store together and find a new game or toy to try with each other.
Parlé: In your encounters what do you think is one of the biggest misconceptions about sex?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: That sex is a topic one should be embarrassed or “hush-hush” about, this is the furthest from the truth. Sex and our sexuality make up who we are, it has physical, mental, and physical health benefits, it improves relationships, it is a source of creativity…just to name a few. Why be embarrassed about something so amazing and pleasurable?
Parlé: You counsel individuals as well as couples, what’s one of most common challenges people seem to have and what’s one quick piece of advice you can give them towards overcoming it?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: A common challenge that I come across a lot are women that have problems coming to orgasm or multiple orgasms. With women and sex, usually when we have a sexual issue, its mental. I tell women to relax and to get out of their head during sex and into their body. I tell them to stop thinking about how their breasts look or the mess in the kitchen and to just relax and allow the pleasures and sexual energy to move throughout their body.
Parlé: You’re married, did your husband express any concerns about what you do?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: Yes I am married and my husband loves what I do. If I am teaching a public class, from PG13 to XXX, he is usually with me and supporting me. I’m very lucky that he is secure enough to handle my profession.
Parlé: Whats the most gratifying thing about your career?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: Helping relationships is one of the most gratifying things. It brings me joy to see couples in love and seeing families staying together, happy, and homes full of peace and love.
Parlé: In addition to picking up your book, how can one quickly add some enhanced romance into their Valentine’s Day plans?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: The best gifts are the ones from the heart so write your mate a quick note telling them what you love about them and how they have enhanced your life. Have a conversation with your mate about your first date, first kiss, anything sweet and sentimental. It helps you two to fall even more in love with each other (and the more loved a woman feels, the hotter she will be in the bedroom). Also, candles, flowers, and massage oils are always nice. They enhance the mood and massages release oxytocin, a chemical that contributes to arousal and orgasm.
Parlé: Back to the latest book release. How long did it take to put together?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: This book took me about 7 months to pick out my positions and tips, find the right illustrator, and get everything finished. The print version will be available in the next week.
Parlé: What was your favorite position to talk about?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: I love ‘The Diamond’ sex position. It is one for the more flexible ladies but I love it and it gets better the closer he pushes your feet to your ears while in the position.
Parlé: This is my honest question. Readers can find various types of books on this type of topic, but what distinguishes your book?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: I do not think anyone else out there speaks of sex in a fun, positive, yet extremely educational way that I do. I have also give information that isn’t really told such as where a woman’s A-spot and Cul de Sac is. People will see or read something about sex in my book that they NEVER have before.
Parlé: Do you have plans for another book, any other projects in the works?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: Absolutely. I have plans for at least three more books right now as well as adult educational DVD’s.
Parlé: Any final words you want to put out there?
Nikki Ransom-Alfred: Yes, everyone can find me online at www.NikkiRansom.com and on Twitter and Instagram @TheKinkyWife. If you’re a sensual and sexually adventurous woman (or looking to be), you should definitely find and connect with me online. My company, Naughty Angels, will be releasing our new version of After Sex clean up towels along with other products this month as well!
30 Sex Positions and Tips For Getting Wild, Rough, and Kinky can be found online at Amazon.com and wherever eBooks are sold.