The only advice column that spins both sides of the truth.
Q: This past weekend, my girlfriend and I almost had sex for the first time. We would’ve went all the way had she shaved her vagina, but she didn’t. I can’t stand being with a woman who doesn’t shave; I think it’s such a turn-off. Now, I really like her, so I’m willing to give her another shot. How can I politely ask her to shave?
Side A: Recognize that what you say is as equally important as how you say it. You can say, “You need to shave, if you want to keep me” in the nicest tone and more than likely, you’ll upset your girlfriend. But, if you express your feelings in a kind tone without negative undertones (ie. demanding or critical language), then she’s bound to be more receptive to you.
Side B: While it’s important to effectively communicate your wants and needs in a relationship, this particular want is based on a personal choice. Chances are, despite how polite your tone is, she may find your question to be offensive. My suggestion would be to show her what you want, rather than asking her. In other words, make it a sexy gesture by doing it yourself. Many females have allowed their boyfriend or husband to shave for them and have found that it further aroused them! Invite your girlfriend to take a shower with you, engage in a little foreplay, then whisper in her ear that you want to try something new. Give her the impression that you want to shave her because it’ll really turn you on. Seeing you turned on may very well be the selling factor for her, so she might just go through with it. If it isn’t, you might have to leave her in the bush.
Q: It’s been seven months and I still can’t find a decent job. I know I’m not the problem, so I can’t understand why no one will hire me. I can’t even get a job at McDonald’s because I’m “overqualified.” What exactly do I need to do to find a good job?
Side A: Fortunately, there isn’t one definite answer to your question. There’s so much you can do to find a good job! Registering with job search websites, posting your resume on Craig’s List, or even attending job fairs are great ways to land a 9-to-5. Of course, having a positive attitude and persistence are also keys to success. So, stay encouraged and don’t give up on yourself. There’s a great job out there with your name on it!
Side B: Your first mistake may be in thinking that you aren’t the problem. You could be making the common mistake of thinking that you’re already the best job candidate, when in fact, you’re an average candidate. To test this theory, consult with a career counselor (ie. a Staffing Coordinator at a job placement agency). Have him/her critique your cover letter, resume, and job interviewing skills. You might be surprised to learn that you are in need of some improvement in those areas. In my own experience, while my job interviewing skills were great, my career portfolio was a bit dull. After a friend told me about his “bragbook,” I decided to create one of my own to also have an advantage over my job competitors. In short, a bragbook is a collection of documents that showcase your professional experience and expertise (ie. resume, references, etc). It’s a great tool to use to differentiate yourself. For more information on creating your bragbook, check out Matthew Levy’s “Corner Office Career Coaching” blog at http://blog.cornerofficecoach.com. Now, take your newfound outlook and resume your job search. A fresh start could be the answer to finding a good job!
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